What do you say to someone before a jump?

3..2..1...cya !!

remember kids.....safety 3rd!

followed by over rotating the gainer too soon and slamming the back of my head into the otter step

erm I mean at least thats how I THINK it would go......hypothetically of course

one of 2 things.
Let's be Awesome.
or
Have fun, don't die...in that order

patmoore

When doing an equipment check on my first jump students I'd instruct them to "turn your head and cough". That always got a laugh and they were a little less tense going aloft.

Now this... this is exceptional.

@ 11k for the whole Plane"Have Fun Everybody!" not mine but is and always be a reference and a nod to my friend that bounced and lived but his pax didn't. Its my way of having him on the plane with us always...

To the group that ignores the green light because they want a "better" spot and then long-spots the rest of the load:

Get the fuck out of the plane you fucking assholes!

Sitting next to a new jumper at the DZ with a serious and concerned look while shaking your head:

I can't believe the fucking pilot is already out of rehab.

To the newly licensed jumper oblivious to the ambulance on the LZ attending to an ankle/leg injury:

Don't land near the ambulance unless you want to join the guy lying on the ground.

Don't let the bird's shit on your canopy!

Why do I have to say any goddam thing or fistbumpfingerslidey any fucking body? Leave me the fuck alone! I'm Concentrating on not fucking up ...first.

Jon

I laughed SO hard at this thread. As a new jumper in AFF these are the crazy things we wonder about so we don't look & feel more stupid than we already do to you master jumpers! I do love the fingerslidefistbump thingy that happens in our loads - makes me feel like part of the coolest club ever.

And now you have us getting the chemtrails turned on correctly, takes a bit of work!

jonstark

Why do I have to say any goddam thing or fistbumpfingerslidey any fucking body? Leave me the fuck alone! I'm Concentrating on not fucking up ...first.

Jon

yeah leave the grumpy old man alone

Well, the most memorable thing I ever had said to me was as I was climbing out of a 182 and the pilot leaned over and yelled "I hope you die!" then started laughing wildly... you could give that a shot.

Bro! Did you just fart?

Anachronist

Well, the most memorable thing I ever had said to me was as I was climbing out of a 182 and the pilot leaned over and yelled "I hope you die!" then started laughing wildly... you could give that a shot.

couple of us used to say "hope you die mother fucker" all the time, until someone in the airplane got offended.

stayhigh

***Well, the most memorable thing I ever had said to me was as I was climbing out of a 182 and the pilot leaned over and yelled "I hope you die!" then started laughing wildly... you could give that a shot.

couple of us used to say "hope you die mother fucker" all the time, until someone in the airplane got offended. why would that stop ya Sudys, Sack and i still say it.

Last time I jump at Snore with Sudsy, there was a camera chick with a neck tat and no sense of humour.
She wore red tinted Flex goggles i asked her if she chose that colour to hide the blood when it starts to fill them. She got offended suds and I just laughed as we exited, we had a great jump, laughing the whole time

Suds still jumps? when was the last time you jumped at snore? I think we are talking about the same person who complained to the child molester and got us stop saying it. Except that she didn't have a neck tattoo, but she did wear a red goggle.

Truly sad thing is that the Jewbag never died. My hopes really went up when he started base jumping, in fact none of us died, and that sucks.

good times.

"hope you die mother fucker!!"
and I used to reply, "hope you take me out bitch!!"

Have fun, don't die.

stayhigh

Suds still jumps? when was the last time you jumped at snore? I think we are talking about the same person who complained to the child molester and got us stop saying it. Except that she didn't have a neck tattoo, but she did wear a red goggle.

Truly sad thing is that the Jewbag never died. My hopes really went up when he started base jumping, in fact none of us died, and that sucks.

good times.

"hope you die mother fucker!!"
and I used to reply, "hope you take me out bitch!!"

I was at Snore for Flaj Flaj in March, I jumped last with Suds last year, but he's moved to the Orient and gone off the radar now.
Sack almost died speedflying, but only ended up with 2 broken legs, I told the prick to try harder next time at to stop disappointing people.

Squeak

I was at Snore for Flaj Flaj in March, I jumped last with Suds last year, but he's moved to the Orient and gone off the radar now.
Sack almost died speedflying, but only ended up with 2 broken legs, I told the prick to try harder next time at to stop disappointing people.

Suds went to Thailand again? I've repeatedly told him that the ladyboys aren't good for his dick health.

There are a lot of DZ's near me and I like to try out new places. My favorite is to get on the plane and when it's about time I look at someone I don't know and ask if they know when the flight attendant is bringing around the drink cart.

Is my GoPro on?

Don't fuck up.

1234


On which the response would be:

Out the F*** door!!!
or
Out the Aircraft door!!!

tkhayes

when my students were climbing of the Cessna with their pilot chute in my hand and they look back at me all wild-eyed and stressed, I always liked to look them in the eye, then make my eyes glow bright red and say (in that Exorcist voice) "You're going to die!", then quickly flip back to my normal self and say, "OK Give me a nice arch now....GO!"

This wins. The thrill you have bestowed upon these students... should definitely earn you some sovereignty in hell. If I ever make it to instructorhood, I will absolutely be stealing this.

I used to offer my students a Lifesaver with the line "You never know when your gonna need a Lifesaver!" It had the same effect as a Tic-Tac without the implication that they needed one.