Midway through AFF - scared, excited and confused

Hi All,

First post, nice to join this community!

So I am halfway through my AFF course. All have gone pretty well, quite unstable in freefall but I guess that is normal. I spent a week at the DZ to do the course and will go back on weekends to finish my AFF jumps, no rush. I have a weird feeling about this however. I am really scared of the ride up, as well as the moments leading to the door. Sometimes I am secretly relieved when the weather prohibits rides, while everyone else are disappointed. I can do maximum of two jumps a day and then I am drained emotionally. 

I have been really tired and sort of feeling like a flu after this course and am very scared, yet excited about jumping. It is a weird mixed feeling wanting to quit and embrace this new lifestyle at the same time. I do not want to go back to the DZ, yet I feel the blues and miss the DZ and the culture of friendly people. How should a beginner like me navigate this turmoil?

Cheers

#1 - Understand that what you are feeling is perfectly normal.

#2 - Read the Duck cartoons:

http://tailotherat.blogspot.com/2011/08/sky-diving-duck-ii-chicken-of-sky.html

Yup. That sounds like AFF for many people.  
As long as the fun/excitement outweighs the rest, just stay with it.

The plane ride and door fear definitely does go away eventually, but for some people it takes 10-20 jumps, for some up to 100 to completely disappear. If you stick with it, it WILL go away, at least in my experience.

Congrats! As the gentlemen said, what you're experiencing is par for the course. On several of my student jump days, I was literally praying for it to cloud up and rain, lol!

But please, before you go back to the DZ, get those flu-like symptoms checked out if they linger!

"If you ain't scared, you don't fully understand the situation."

"We don't do this 'cause we're fearless, we LIKE being scared."

"Blue Skies, Black Death!"

This sport is supposed to be scary, that's part of why it's so much fun. Eat that shit up. The girl that draws those duck cartoons that Joe referenced above, I was one of her instructors. I think it was her level 6 or 7, we got to the loading area and she asked me, 'When does the fear go away?' I kind of chuckled, then called for everyone's attention. 'Ask them what you just asked me.' She did, and everyone immediately started laughing out loud. Not AT her, WITH her. Have yourself a laugh with all of us, and enjoy.

That said, don't ever get complacent. This is a sport of attention to detail. Every detail, every time. Be alert, be attentive, be deliberate, be wise. Some day, you'll knowingly pass this on to someone else.

14 hours ago, EagleMan said:

I have a weird feeling about this however. I am really scared of the ride up, as well as the moments leading to the door. Sometimes I am secretly relieved when the weather prohibits rides,

I felt the same way too - welcome to skydiving. 

The fear is unpleasant but it looks after you, worry will keep you safe. As you jump more, and get more confident, it will be less unpleasant, but as said above you must continue to worry about the details. 

Keep going - you'll be right. :) 

I had exactly the same as you. During my AFF I was always scared shitless. All the way up I was asking myself what the hell am I doing.. But when it was my time in the exit order I just jumped.

After AFF it took me untill jump nr 20 to be more relaxed on the way up. But I didn't liked to be sitting next to the door as I was scared to fall out, how stupid is that

Now I'm fully relaxed in the plane and like sitting next to the door. I do have that rush of excitement and some nerves, but that is normal. I would be worried if I wouldn't have that anymore.

You just have to push through that fear, you'll be rewarded, it will go away.

On 7/13/2020 at 8:12 PM, wolfriverjoe said:

#1 - Understand that what you are feeling is perfectly normal.

#2 - Read the Duck cartoons:

http://tailotherat.blogspot.com/2011/08/sky-diving-duck-ii-chicken-of-sky.html

Thanks for the link! Read through some other of those cartoons and I can definitely relate! haha

On 7/13/2020 at 9:23 PM, mbohu said:

Yup. That sounds like AFF for many people.  
As long as the fun/excitement outweighs the rest, just stay with it.

The plane ride and door fear definitely does go away eventually, but for some people it takes 10-20 jumps, for some up to 100 to completely disappear. If you stick with it, it WILL go away, at least in my experience.

Yea that is what I have heard. Actually feel much more confident now after a few days in real life and back to work. Cant wait to go back this weekend!

On 7/13/2020 at 11:00 PM, betzilla said:

Congrats! As the gentlemen said, what you're experiencing is par for the course. On several of my student jump days, I was literally praying for it to cloud up and rain, lol!

But please, before you go back to the DZ, get those flu-like symptoms checked out if they linger!

Hah

On 7/14/2020 at 2:01 AM, dudeman17 said:

"If you ain't scared, you don't fully understand the situation."

"We don't do this 'cause we're fearless, we LIKE being scared."

"Blue Skies, Black Death!"

 

This sport is supposed to be scary, that's part of why it's so much fun. Eat that shit up. The girl that draws those duck cartoons that Joe referenced above, I was one of her instructors. I think it was her level 6 or 7, we got to the loading area and she asked me, 'When does the fear go away?' I kind of chuckled, then called for everyone's attention. 'Ask them what you just asked me.' She did, and everyone immediately started laughing out loud. Not AT her, WITH her. Have yourself a laugh with all of us, and enjoy.

That said, don't ever get complacent. This is a sport of attention to detail. Every detail, every time. Be alert, be attentive, be deliberate, be wise. Some day, you'll knowingly pass this on to someone else.

Haha indeed! Actually spoke to one of the guys at my DZ and he pretty much told me the same, never lose attention to detail.

On 7/14/2020 at 10:37 AM, johnmatrix said:

I felt the same way too - welcome to skydiving. 

The fear is unpleasant but it looks after you, worry will keep you safe. As you jump more, and get more confident, it will be less unpleasant, but as said above you must continue to worry about the details. 

Keep going - you'll be right. :) 

Thanks! Already excited to continue!

22 hours ago, Pit76 said:

I had exactly the same as you. During my AFF I was always scared shitless. All the way up I was asking myself what the hell am I doing.. But when it was my time in the exit order I just jumped.

After AFF it took me untill jump nr 20 to be more relaxed on the way up. But I didn't liked to be sitting next to the door as I was scared to fall out, how stupid is that

Now I'm fully relaxed in the plane and like sitting next to the door. I do have that rush of excitement and some nerves, but that is normal. I would be worried if I wouldn't have that anymore.

You just have to push through that fear, you'll be rewarded, it will go away.

Haha yes! And it is not even the free fall that is scary, it is those seconds when the door opens, I just want to be done with the jump already, haha!.. One time I actually just went for it without clearance, by mistake of course  good thing my instructor was ready

On 7/13/2020 at 11:00 PM, betzilla said:

Congrats! As the gentlemen said, what you're experiencing is par for the course. On several of my student jump days, I was literally praying for it to cloud up and rain, lol!

But please, before you go back to the DZ, get those flu-like symptoms checked out if they linger!

Haha yes exactly! Well I believe it was just mental exhaustion after that week. Actually feel great now after some time off and ready to finish the course :) 

As I told someone, enjoy this fear and excitement you get now. It is awesome that you are drained after 2-3 jumps. It takes 5, 6, 7... when you get used to it.

I miss the fear and excitement after landing from my initial jumps. When I started  I always looked at the skydivers sleeping the first 10 minutes on the ride up and thinking "What the hell?". Now I do it sometimes.

It's a process  that you must appreciate because it will dissapear trough the years and then you will have to constantly remind yourself that you are still falling to the ground at 200km/h+ and you should have the respect you once felt if you plan a safe and long skydiving career.