Hello everyone. I recently started my AFF course. My first day I did 3 jumps and passed all 3. I really enjoyed the canopy rides and the free fall alike. I felt a good bit of nervousness for my first jump and every subsequent jump the fear seemed to lessen, thus increasing my enjoyment. Today however, I woke up early to capture as much of the sun and blue skies as I could. I am about 2 hours away from my DZ and about half way through my drive I realized I had forgotten my logbook, my vape pen, and my hoodie I planned on wearing due to the colder weather. I was in such a rush to get to the drop zone that I forgot all of these things. This really threw me off mentally and exasperated my anxiety to the point that I did not feel right jumping. What I felt was far worse than my first jump, and I sat in my car for 45 minutes trying to discern what i was feeling and why it was so intense today. I did not want to give into these feelings but dissapointingly i did. I decided that I had not prepared properly, and to take today as a lesson. I went home and discussed my decision with some experienced skydivers and they told me I made the right choice. Ive read and listened to alot of information saying to trust your gut, and only jump when you feel right about it. It was hard to not think of my choice today as giving into anxiety. I knew I would be safe, I knew I would be able to do it. Ive spent almost an hour in the tunnel and countless hours studying dive flows of the various jumps, emergency procedures etc. However, today just didn't feel right for some reason, and I listened to that feeling. I think I rushed today too much and paid the price for it. I'm wondering if anyone has any similar stories, and what they did to better prepare for next time? How did you overcome the nerves? I have such a respect for this sport and those who pursue it, it hurt leaving today. I have a worry that this anxiety is going to come back regardless of how much further I prepare myself. I dont know if things would have been different had I not forgotten so many things. I know how I felt my first few jumps and today was filled with much more nerves than any of those jumps combined. The only difference is the forgotten items and waking up much earlier. Interested to hear others stories.
-Blue skies