Funniest whuffo question

I cannot tell you how many times someone has seen the skydiving sticker on my truck and then asked me 'oh, does your boyfriend/husband skydive'.

-What do you do if the second one does not open?-

As children, thats what my brother and I would ask my dad when talking about his paratrooper days. He would always respond..."go back up to the plane and get a new one" I'm glad to say we knew he was joking.

What do you do when it doesnt open
me: grab the grass

can you really breath through your skin?
me: can you?

"I saw this movie once and the skydivers in it were moving around...then I remembered that you skidive and I wanted to ask..you cant really move around when youre falling right?"

me...THINKING this is gonna take a while..

me: I fly a high performance canopy that is capable of landing at 50-60 mph

whuffo: Ohhh My how dont you break your legs every time? doesnt that hurt?

me: no its forward speed...then I slow the parachute and myself down before I put my wieght on the ground

whuffo: yeah I get that but you slow down so fast when you hit the ground right??? its not like you have air brakes or something...

me...ahh hell if you really want to know jsut come to the dz sometime..

-yoshi

From a fellow teacher, "Wow, you have an A license? You must be awesome. Those guys that have D's, I bet they suck. That's why they got D's, right?"

I overheard my girlfriend replying to her sister about if she wasn't worried about me going to start skydiving. She said: "Not really, but when he learns to pack parachutes he got to get good at folding bedsheets..." I think I may have dissapointed her on that...

My favorite whuffo question is from whuffos who have just been introduced to me asking "Can you take me for a free skydive?"

This has happened to me 2 or 3 times now:

The skydivers that just landed walk to the van. We walk past some watching whuffo's. I am one of the last ones. I pass said whuffo's, with my canopy hanging over my shoulder, they go: Did YOU just jump outta a plane??!!



Yeah so what, can't help that I'm a girl, and that I thereby offend some whuffo's sensibilities...

"If I want to start skydiving, isn´t it better to start practicing from lower altitudes. Like from a bridge or a small mountain."

But I have realized that sometimes when I think a whuffo question is funny, it can be my interpretation of the question that is funny, not necessarily the question itself.

When talking with people one doesn´t know well, maybe it´s better to presume that their questions are intelligent. And maybe find out that the question with an ”obvious” answer, actually might not be trivial at all..
Sometimes it can add an interesting aspect!

It's a bit off the 'thread line' but...

Have ya ever been told ALL ABOUT SKYDIVING

by some whuffo that has never jumped??

I seem to have this conversation with whuffo guys a lot:

Me: I like to skydive.
Him: Really?
Me: Yes.
Him: Really?
Me: Yes,
Him: Really?
Me: YES!
Him: REALLY?
Me: Do you want to see the pictures????

I think that some people (mostly men) find it hard to beleive that a girl with pigtails and sparkles would do something they are way to terrified to even contemplate.

Gale

First, folks at home were frightened to learn that I have to jump out of airplanes, not buildings etc., or, in our terms, that BASE is safer than skydiving because the altitudes are smaller

Second, a TA (teaching assistant) in the geography course I'm taking, seriously asked "So do you use parachutes?" (No, not necessarily, I don't really need it much
Third, when my dad saw a photo (at webshots.com) of CRW, taken from above (so that you only see the canopies, but not jumpers) he asked, "Wow, that guy must be rich, he bought himself 3 parachutes!"

I've seen that smile before in response to skydiving issues being discussed. Just think of it as being similar to when a task freezes up on your computer and no other program responds or it goes to a "blue screen". You need to give them time to reboot their brains, after which they act like you didn't say what you said.
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I don't think I've seen this one mentioned:

After talking to someone about how I like skydiving, they'll ask where I go, how many times, etc etc. After I tell them my jump numbers, I've heard this one a few times now:

Can you pull for yourself now?

Uhh...I guess they've never seen prices for tandems!

I overheard a tandem who (at around 7,000 agl) said 'stop! Lets just jump from here. This is high enough'

As if you'd make a smaller splat from 7,000 than you would from 14,000

Just ask him if he plays golf, skis, or bowls. Same thing, but at least as rewarding.

It's your golf course in the sky and you get together a whatever-some (oops, -way) a few times a weekend whenever you have the chance. If you like the person tell to come with you sometime. The difference is that the instructor will tee him off.
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i've gotten the "Were those stickers on your jeep when you bought it?"

and even after"how many times have you jumped?", i reply, and they still ask, "do you go by yourself?" and "do you pack your own parachute?" and "do you pull the chord yourself?"

and one of my favorite sexist comments is "did your boyfriend get you started skydiving?" or "was he your instructor?"

i wonder if some people ever realize how sexist or stupid they sound sometimes.

peace

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i've gotten the "Were those stickers on your jeep when you bought it?"

I've never heard that one but that's damn funny!

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do you pull the chord yourself

One of my friends got really disappointed when I showed him my rig (he asked to see it), and he couldn't see a ripcord. (was looking for a metal handle and I have a reserve pad). He then thought I couldn't possibly have any way of opening my parachute

Another good one that I get a lot when I ask if a whuffo wants to make their first skydive (PFF):

whuffo:"You mean I can't go by myself?"

I've also seen students who want to wear a camera helmet on their first jump.

then there is the classic ones where they ask if I can skysurf yet (at 13 jumps).

When I got my new gear, a couple of my whuffo buddies wanted me to jump off of my house and use my chute. I tried and tried but I couldn't explain that a chute can take about 700ft to open.

this list could go on and on

My Dad was in the final stages of colon cancer when my husband did his first tandem. Dad was heavily dosed with morphine when he watched the video. Don Kellner was on the load with my husband and when he opened the door and jumped before my husband, my Dad turned to us and very seriously asked "Was that the pilot?" It was one of the last truely great laughs we had with Dad before he died.

judy

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then there is the classic ones where they ask if I can skysurf yet (at 13 jumps).

As I snowboard, friends keep asking that is skysurf my favourite discipline..Like it has something to do with snowboarding..

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When I got my new gear, a couple of my whuffo buddies wanted me to jump off of my house and use my chute...

A friend just a while ago (he has about 3 s/l jumps) asked me to come to sweden climbing with him, and my answer was that if I'm taking a trip to sweden, it'll be the freefly festival, and he said, 'but you could take your rig with you and we can climb up and then you could jump down'

Not a question, but did you ever run into these people that always knew someone that does it? I've heard some off the wall shit, like: "My friend did it 10 times and is like an instructor now" Sure okay!

I get this one all the time
"dont you hit birds and get bugs in your teeth?"

-yoshi

My DZO once told me of a call he got from someone asking about PFF. After he finished explaining it all to the guy the guy asked "So do you supply the snowboards, or do I have to bring my own?"

I can't count the number of times people have asked me if I ever "strap a snowboard to my feet" when I jump!!

Blue Skies!!