Funniest whuffo question

Oh yeah, I also got in an argument with this guy at work about not being able to breath in freefall and absorbing oxygen through the skin. The funniest point he made was when he said "Do you jump through clouds?"
I replied "no."
His reply: "see, it's cause you'll suffocate if your skin gets wet."

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I wonder if some people ever realize how sexist or stupid they sound sometimes.

Last fall I sewed up my own jumpsuit. I visited the local fabric stores, talking to assistants about what they had available. They would of course ask what I was sewing, and every single assistant at every fabric store assumed that I was sewing it for my husband. They were shocked that it wasn't. Makes me laugh at how limited some people's views are.

Yeah, Now imagine you were a guy (rigger) visiting fabric/ sewing stores looking for a sewing machine, and asking the nice mennonite ladies what color selection of poly-cotton they have in stock.


Ken

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Yeah, Now imagine you were a guy (rigger) visiting fabric/ sewing stores looking for a sewing machine, and asking the nice mennonite ladies what color selection of poly-cotton they have in stock.


Ken

Actually the nice mennonite ladies are quite helpful.
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Today I had a guy I work with ask me one. I was talking about what it takes to get a license and he asked if it goes on your regular license, meaning drivers, or if it has its own. I said it gets added to your drivers because a canopy is considered an air car.

Wouldn't that be boiled cabbage and habanero's?

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(Total chaos requires a ferret)

SO VERY VERY TRUE!!!

after we chat something about skydiving today my girlfriend said "please don't do anything crazy when you go to DZ"
i said "don't worry i won't"

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I came to work one day very sore and bruised up. A co-worker asked "what happened, did your chute not open?"

That's one of the best I've heard in a while.

I guess what would qualified as one of the stupidist, if not funniest, comments was one that, sadly, I made during my first jump.

For background, you have to realize that I had never been aboard a small aircraft before. I didn't honestly realize how small they could be. So ... four of us are boarding a Cessna 182. Me, my tandem instructor and a freefall student and his instructor. I'm the first to climb in because I'm supposed to sit with my back against the pilot's seat. I was still marveling at how small this plane was, and wondering how the hell four of us were gonna fit into it.

As I begin hoisting myself in, I notice the pilot sitting at the controls. He's wearing a parachute. "Wow! He gets to jump too?" I turn and ask of my tandem instructor, who was crawling into the plane right behind me.

At least my instructor had the decency to keep a straight face. The other student, just climbing onto the step, actually fell off and onto the ground. He was doubled over in laughter.

This airplane was so tiny that I honestly thought it could be landed by remote control.

Sad, huh? :)

Blue skies ...

--rita

My mom used to tell me if I ever reached teminal velocity, I'd die before I hit the ground. This was after I'd done a couple hundred jumps.

My fiance says that all the time, but the best whuffo story I have is from my Mom. I was showing her some video of me in Freefall and she had a white knuckle grip on the armrest of her chair, "Christian, I wish you wouldn't do this!" she said in a rather upset tone. My kid brother in his cool dry sense of humor just leaned up and pointed at me and said, "Relax Mom, you know how it ends" Props to the little dude

I dont think i will ever hear this one again...
One of my coworkers asked me if it was true that every time you jump out of the plane if you pee your pants a little bit! I laughed my ass off for a long time after she asked me that one. I told her thats why we wear jumpsuits and that they all have diapers built in too. Has anyone else ever heard that before?

Luke

I have heard that one before, but a little different, someone told me that 85% of first time jumpers wet themselves. People ask me if its true all the time

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I have heard that one before, but a little different, someone told me that 85% of first time jumpers wet themselves. People ask me if its true all the time

OK, just to set the record straight - - I'm in the other 15%!!

Speaking of Wet....

I told a whuffo that when I jumped one time that it wasn't raining on the ground but at altitude it was and I jumped through the rain...

whuffo: does it hurt?
me: oh yea...I keep hitting all the pointy ends of the rain drops when i'm falling...hurts like hell!

And another good one...
You can jump out of a plane more than one time in a day?
Even better...
I tell them I get 4-5 jumps in a day and tell them it's only 18 bucks...they are like is that safe? I know someone that paid 150....

Blue Skies!

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It's a bit off the 'thread line' but...
Have ya ever been told ALL ABOUT SKYDIVING
by some whuffo that has never jumped??

How about by a whuffo who claims to have jumped.

this is the ACTUAL conversation, verbatim:
[Discussing Jumping]

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WhuffoChick:: I still don't see why you like doing that...
WhuffoChick:: I am all for adventure.. but come on... Jumpin outta a plane?? lol
WhuffoChick:: but I guess if you like it, then more power to ya

Jerm: don't knock it till you've tried it.....

WhuffoChick:: I did it ONCE... a really long time ago...

Jerm: really?

WhuffoChick:: the instructor had to PUSH me outta the plane... LOL

Jerm: hahah... what kind of jump?

WhuffoChick:: I have no clue... dint really pay attention to that.. dint think I was gonna have to do it...

Jerm: haha.. i mean.... did you freefall? were you strapped to someone?

WhuffoChick:: they told me I could ride up in the plane but I had to wear a shute just for safety sake
WhuffoChick:: oh... free fall...
WhuffoChick:: over water...
WhuffoChick:: had to let the shute go just before hitting the water...

Jerm: ummmmmmmmmmmmmm

WhuffoChick:: I don't even think it was that high of a jump...
WhuffoChick:: n/m..
WhuffoChick:: brings up bad memories

Jerm: so where did you make this jump?

WhuffoChick:: Down in texas... I bungy jumped the next day... they strapped me around the waist for that...

Jerm: which dropzone?

WhuffoChick:: I have no clue... I went along as the chauffeur that weekend... right outside of Galveston
WhuffoChick:: a freind went back down a few years ago.. and the place isn't there anymore...
WhuffoChick:: I have nightmares sometimes

Jerm: bullshit
*** WhuffoChick: signed off at Tue Mar 11 23:23:01 2003.

doh!

Hahaha... wow... that's pretty bad. Why did she have an instructor if she wasn't planning on jumping?

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Hahaha... wow... that's pretty bad. Why did she have an instructor if she wasn't planning on jumping?

If only that were the biggest flaw... it's a good thing it was on IM... i think the story would have stopped sooner if she could have been my hysterical laughter....

Whuffo: So what did you do this weekend?
Me: Like every weekend, I went skydiving.
Whuffo: What? No way! You jump out of airplanes every weekend?
Me: Yep.
Whuffo: With a parachute?

You guys don't pee your pants?

Dring my FJC, the conversation turned to pilot chutes. After a few minutes on the subject, this one girl who didn't seem to be playing with a full deck (getting left and right mixed up, not being able to really remember anything) speaks up and says, "So, do we use the same kind of parachute as the pilot?" It took everything I had to keep a straight face.

A few weeks ago while I was packing in the living room and explaining the thowout pilot chute to my dad, he asked me, "Do you just hold onto it the whole way down?" I guess it sorta makes sense. Not a lot of people understand why anybody would want to put such an important handle where it isn't visible to the jumper.

I once had a conversation with a co-worker who 'had an uncle that also skydived'
She told me her uncle used to tell all his skydiving stories at birthdays and such.
"My uncle always puts his hands under his knees and pulls them up on the landings"
I was quite amazed and asked her how he flaired (with his hands tucked under his knees)
"I don't know, that's what he says"
I then explained to her how landing actualy works (flairing) and that her uncle probably did a tandem once (or only saw one:) and used that as a basis for his strong stories.
A month or three later she came to work laughing.
Apperently her uncle had been telling big stories on her moms birthday again, and she had confronted him about a number of issues, such as a pilotchute/ripcord, reserve, flairing and a few other things (all my collegues can teach a FJC after a few months of working with me:) and on all of her questions she got a blanc stare as an answer..
She asked him about a tandemjump, and still all he couldn describe kinda accurate was the landing (in a way only a non-jumper could see/describe it).
Most of his knowledge seemed to be based the 'one last speedstar at the end of the summer' in Point Break, and watching a tandem land...

But he kept saying he jumped...I don't mind..let him. But I don't understand why someone would tell a lie like that and, even when being confronted with it, just keep ignoring the fact that everyone knows your lying..kinda sad..

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You guys don't pee your pants?

Yeah...that's the most shocking thing on this thread. I thought that was par for the course.

The father of a passenger i was briefing for the jump asked me if there was an handle i could use to release the passenger if things go bad, and he was serious... He then realized the stupidity of his question and blushed when i asked " Do you really want me to release your daughter during the flight?

Ill take the credit for this one: (After my first jump)" Are those thingys on the arms and legs of your suit for stability?"