Skydiving Quotes

Eat, Fuck, SKYDIVE!

If there's no video, it didn't happen.

Question: "Any famous last words?"

Response: "Yeah- hold my beer, watch this..."

... sick... :-D

"If you start back-sliding, stop."

Instructor grilling student: "What do you do if you get a bi-plane?"

Student: "Get out on the lower wing."

"If one of us goes low, I'll come down to get you."

~Overheard:

"If you can stare at my wife's chest all weekend, surely it wouldn't kill you to say Hi"

To an AFF student on the ride up "Level 7 huh? Have they packed your malfunction yet? You know you have to have atleast one before you graduate? Have a nice jump."


"Are you nervous yet? You should be"


Pilot turns and "WE JUST LOST THE LEFT ENGINE" Tandem Instructor quickly hooking up, Tandem student: "Ok, enough is enough, lets lay off with the jokes" Tandem Instructor turns students head to window, where the prop sits still. Tandem student: "LETS GO, LETS GO" as he drags his instructor down the bench.
This was funny enough that I had to laugh, even while getting a very nervouse AFF student to the door.


with 40 some odd jumps: "Hey man, the S&TA just said C and D license only in this wind, you think you could get him to let that slide for me?"


@ 28,000 feet, Pilot with o2 mask off and in his hand, "I'M FEELING DIZZY"


When asked why he wanted to be a coach, the new candidate replied to me "well, I know you will still get to the girls before I do, but at least I will be next in line"


"You got any questions?......Good, because I didn't have any answers"


"I knew it was pull time..I just didn't want it to be over yet"


"There might be a better way to kill yourself, but I can't think of one right now" ~G.D. Williams

After just watching student have malfunction and cutaway on a Hop and Pop, Instructor pulls down door and tells everyone on the load,

"Well you know what they say, cutaways come in 3's!!"

On my freefall my Instructor gets finished spotting, looks to me and says:




"Well...if the good lord was ever lookin' for a good time to take a shit on you...this would be it!"

A freeflyer friend several years ago before an RW jump:
"I can't wear this (RW suit). If I go in, everybody's going to remember me as a bellyflyer"

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On my freefall my Instructor gets finished spotting, looks to me and says:




"Well...if the good lord was ever lookin' for a good time to take a shit on you...this would be it!"

Surprising coming from one of the Wright brothers

Sorry about the tear. No worries. Its my buddies RIG.

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Surprising coming from one of the Wright brothers

You funny guy.

Skydiver to pilot right after the engine quit: "Hang in there, man. I'm going for help."

"I know the minimum pull altitude here is 2500 feet, but if I'm below 2500, I'm pulling - rule or no rule."

Female tandem 1st jump. Screaming the whole freefall, opened still screaming. I asked if she was O.K? She said "Yes, thousands of dollars of therapy and all I ever really needed to do was jump out of an airplane"

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Another reason to pull low, don't hafta worry about the problem as long.

-Bolas

Instructor (to student) - HTFU!

Student - What do you mean?

Instructor - Harden The Fuck Up!!!

I was teaching a female student cut-away procedures back in the ole shot & 1/2 days...she says, "What if I don't do that, I just had my nails done?"

I replied, "You'll have the prettiest hands at the funeral parlor!"

"If you ain't scared, you don't fully understand the situation."

- Al Frisby

Saw it on a t-shirt and it made me laugh:

You need a ball to play most sports, but in skydiving you need both!

From a low timer after asking about the wind conditions (which caused most of the experienced skydivers to stay down) and getting the whole speech with anecdotes, testimonials... the whole "I think you'd better stay down" approach:
"Ok, thanks. I'll just make this my last one today then."

Yep. Quite possibly.