Skydiving Quotes

Skydiver with altimeter knows how high he is - Skydiver with two altimeters is never sure.

These are all gold and many I have heard while jumping in Oz funnily enough

Like jumping from the Skyvan after a 20 minute hold.. Wake up, we're on jump run!!!

The sky is not the limit, the ground is.

more of a base jumping one but "its like suicide without the commitment"

Quotes that make me laugh now:

Walking in from my first aff jump:
instructor-you have a boyfriend?
Me- no, why? (thinking he may be flirting...)
Instructor-good, cause if you are doing this for real, and he doesnt jump, you can kiss him goodbye.

Just before door opens for my A license checkdive, had a friend/another student earlier in the day not flare and get hurt pretty bad. Instructor (same one that jumped with her) turns to me as we are getting to altitude, dead serious: 'Promise me you will FLARE! I don't care what else you do, just flare...
Pulling would be good too.'

There are only two things that fall out of the sky, birdshit and fools.

Altimeters don't tell you how high you are. They tell you how low.

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There are only two things that fall out of the sky, birdshit and fools.

That's true, the rest of us use parachutes!!!

In the 182 making my very first freefall, the jumpmaster grabbed me and said

"This is for real, don't fuck it up."

I live with fear and terror, but sometimes I leave her and go skydiving.

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There are only two things that fall out of the sky, birdshit and fools.

That's true, the rest of us use parachutes!!!

In the 182 making my very first freefall, the jumpmaster grabbed me and said

"This is for real, don't fuck it up."

~Mine said: If the good Lord was waiting for a day to really shit all over you...TODAY IS THE DAY!

From an old Jump Shack ad:

At 2,000 feet, the last thing you need is pretty gear!

Getting ready to open the door ans spot: "We must be close - I'm getting a hard on!" (Top Gun)

Student: What if the parachute doesn't work?
TimmyD: Cut away and deploy the reserve.
Student: What if the reserve doesn't work?
TimmyD: Walk towards the bright white light!

S&TA stands for "Sure! That's Acceptable!"

What could possibly go wrong?

So we have that going for us ... Which is nice.

(Door opens) OK, time to look like we know what we're doing.

It's all fun and games until the pilot chute hits you in the eye,and it's not yours.
You are never too low to hook it,but you may be too low to crawl away from it.
Skydiving has a way of weeding out the stupid ones and the weak ones,wich one are you?

The reason birds sing? They don't have to pack.

Haven't read the whole thread so apologies if repost - but see my sig line

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First one to the crater gets all the good stuff!

The FIRST one to the crater gets dead.

To the jumper ahead of you in the lineup just before the exit count, "Did you know this on your reserve? Well, it'll probably be OK for this jump."

One of my earliest and greatest mentors, Chip Steele, while I was doing AFF- I still think of this one as a reminder to self to focus on what I'm doing.
Chip:
"Ya know whats the most important skydive of your life?"
Me: "Uh..."
Chip: "This one... its the one you're doing right now."

Expanded version, "Whats on the ground, stays on the ground. Only thing that matters now is this skydive...the most important skydive of your life."

I miss Chip. One of the greatest teachers I ever met.
-B

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Sometime depending on how the student is, when I hook them up for a tandem. I shake the four attachment points and say "Your hooked up here, and your hooked up here. So there's no way you can die alone"

I'd tell my tandem students, "If I let you get hurt, I get hurt. If I keep myself from getting hurt, you don't get hurt either."

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An old time skydiver used to say about spotting,


"Get out short cause you can always take it down"

That's adjusting the spot vertically.

"if something goes wrong, you have the rest of your life to try n fix it"

To a tandem student:

"If everything goes wrong and you hit the earth at a high rate of speed, the last thing to go thru your mind will be your instructor"

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To a tandem student:

"If everything goes wrong and you hit the earth at a high rate of speed, the last thing to go thru your mind will be your instructor"

Not a quote, but an instructor at my club used to have a nice routine that he'd take his passenger through on the ground 'in case both parachutes fail'. This involved them stretching both hands out to their sides at shoulder height, then bringing them down to their sides. He'd get them to repeat this, going faster and faster until they got the joke.

Instructor: Whats this mean!
Me:Legs out

Intstructor: Whats this mean!
Me:Arch

Instructor:Whats this mean!
Me:Uhh.....Flying like an ass!

I have not heard this exact quote used in context to skydiving, but it may be something to consider before 'going big'...

If there is any doubt, then there is no doubt.

To a tandem student:
If we get separated just meet back at the drop zone.

Camera man to a tandem student:
If all else fails, just know I’ll be okay 

AFFI to Student:
ARCH DIRTBAG

I think it goes like this . . .
Skydivers don’t have girlfriends, just turns

Karl:
One pass

Me to You:
Don’t Tell Me What To DO!

AFF level 1, second attempt:
I promises I won’t do that again

DSE
YOU, Can’t Jump THAT

And Last but Not Least
Oooooo That aint goin to grow back