A deal

Hi all....this is something that has been bothering me for a very long time, and I'd like to share with you all to look for insights. 

background - I'm admitted to Purdue University in Indianapolis class of 2025. 

So my parents made me a deal before: they would help me pay for my college tuitions and I would stop skydiving for the next 5 years. I could get back to skydiving after 4-year college and 1 year of working. I refused. 5-year is simply too long. 

Then they decreased the time to 4 years. I refused again. 

And today they decreased the time again to 3 years. And it finally makes me think. They also agree that I could start a skydiving club at Purdue University starting from my freshman year. 

Their reasoning is that I need to train myself to be patient, because skydiving is a dangerous sport and rushing in this sport can be fatal. Their reasoning is based on the fact that I chose to jump again with an injured shoulder which directly caused my accident in 2020. So how should I train myself to be patient? They think that the best way is to force myself to wait for several years before getting back to jumping. In this case, several college years. 

I do NOT completely agree with their reasoning. I was told before that many people jump with "injuries they thought they could handle" and got lucky. I don't see anything wrong with wanting to get back in the sport ASAP after getting injured. I believe many people do.  It'd be a problem if I got back in the sport when I'm not physically or mentally ready. I'm sure I will avoid jumping with injuries "I thought I could handle" again. 

I have an alternate solution - I can attend a local university in CA and I wouldn't have too much financial pressures, and my parents wouldn't need to pay anything for me, and I could get back to jumping as soon as next year. 

What do you guys think?

PS: Why do I want to start a skydiving club? I want to introduce this amazing sport to as many people as possible even if I'm not actively jumping. 

1 hour ago, David Wang said:

Hi all....this is something that has been bothering me for a very long time, and I'd like to share with you all to look for insights. 

background - I'm admitted to Purdue University in Indianapolis class of 2025. 

So my parents made me a deal before: they would help me pay for my college tuitions and I would stop skydiving for the next 5 years. I could get back to skydiving after 4-year college and 1 year of working. I refused. 5-year is simply too long. 

Then they decreased the time to 4 years. I refused again. 

And today they decreased the time again to 3 years. And it finally makes me think. They also agree that I could start a skydiving club at Purdue University starting from my freshman year. 

Their reasoning is that I need to train myself to be patient, because skydiving is a dangerous sport and rushing in this sport can be fatal. Their reasoning is based on the fact that I chose to jump again with an injured shoulder which directly caused my accident in 2020. So how should I train myself to be patient? They think that the best way is to force myself to wait for several years before getting back to jumping. In this case, several college years. 

I do NOT completely agree with their reasoning. I was told before that many people jump with "injuries they thought they could handle" and got lucky. I don't see anything wrong with wanting to get back in the sport ASAP after getting injured. I believe many people do.  It'd be a problem if I got back in the sport when I'm not physically or mentally ready. I'm sure I will avoid jumping with injuries "I thought I could handle" again. 

I have an alternate solution - I can attend a local university in CA and I wouldn't have too much financial pressures, and my parents wouldn't need to pay anything for me, and I could get back to jumping as soon as next year. 

What do you guys think?

PS: Why do I want to start a skydiving club? I want to introduce this amazing sport to as many people as possible even if I'm not actively jumping. 

Be patient.

Go to Purdue and apply yourself towards an engineering, computer science, cyber security, etc. degree.

It's a tough university to be admitted to, so you must be smarter than the average bear.  

A Purdue degree will beat your local CA degree when interviewing. 

USPA stats show many jumpers have technical backgrounds (engineer and CS).

Get a good job that pays well.

Take up skydiving again.

The sky's not going anywhere but you have an opportunity to go somewhere unique: Purdue and beyond.

Be patient. 

What Tampa Pete said. It's a journey. Take your time. Give yourself opportunities before being to absorbed, and take the time to be perfectly fit again. The skydiving will only be better.

What do I think? Two things. Your parents want the best for you, but are also control freaks. I have no opinion on what you should do.

27 minutes ago, gowlerk said:

but are also control freaks.

Interesting 

21 minutes ago, David Wang said:

Interesting 

Don't mine everyone's responses for what you want to hear. Wendy P. is giving you real-world experience. 

2 hours ago, TampaPete said:

Don't mine everyone's responses for what you want to hear. Wendy P. is giving you real-world experience. 

Although he was mining my comment, I agree with you. His parents are controlling, but that does not mean they are wrong.

1 hour ago, gowlerk said:

Although he was mining my comment, I agree with you. His parents are controlling, but that does not mean they are wrong.

Why do you think they are controlling? I’m not mining comments just a genuine question. 
 

and thanks to Wendy P., Tampa Pete piisfish you guys’ responses help and I will definitely think about it

it took me 22 years to get my a license for various reasons, mostly not having the money and time to devote to it full time to get good.  you got lucky as hell once, don't push it.  some don't get a second chance.

Anyone can become a dropzone bum. It takes more work to get a decent job / career.  Which can then pay for lots of skydiving. (Like TampaPete said.)

Everyone likes the "right" to do whatever they choose in life. But young adults often can use a boost / support from parents to get an advantage, and that financial power does give them some leeway to impose conditions. One can argue about those conditions, but one can't always avoid them...

5 hours ago, David Wang said:

Why do you think they are controlling? I’m not mining comments just a genuine question. 
 

and thanks to Wendy P., Tampa Pete piisfish you guys’ responses help and I will definitely think about it

I agree with gowlerk to a degree (no offense just my opinion) and I respect his opinion. As a parent we are trying to teach you/ control you to keep you headed in what we feel is the right direction. Bribes do work and when applied judiciously can have the desired effect. That's all I read into their "we'll pay if you stop jumping" move. You have an opportunity to go to Purdue.

Purdue is 9th for best undergrad engineering degrees. So its in the top 10 with the likes of MIT, Cal Tech, Georgia Tech, UC Berkley (tops in my degree), Stanford and is just in front of U of Texas (another great school in my degree). All good company to be around.

Cal Tech, Carnegie-Mellon and Purdue tie for fourth best engineering schools in the U.S for graduate degrees. That's behind MIT (OK - #1) and ahead of Georgia Tech (WOW). 

As an engineer I understand the magnitude of this opportunity. Go to Purdue. Go with a positive attitude. I promise it will be hard, especially at first, but it will be very rewarding. Personally rewarding, professionally rewarding and financially rewarding. While you're there you will find friends and time to enjoy their company.

I know people with engineering degrees that went on to other professions (lawyers and dentists - go figure). So you can do anything with an engineering degree. 

I think this adds up to my 4 cents worth and you were very brave to ask this in an open forum. 

Go Boiler Makers!

9 minutes ago, pchapman said:

Anyone can become a dropzone bum. It takes more work to get a decent job / career.  Which can then pay for lots of skydiving. (Like TampaPete said.)

Everyone likes the "right" to do whatever they choose in life. But young adults often can use a boost / support from parents to get an advantage, and that financial power does give them some leeway to impose conditions. One can argue about those conditions, but one can't always avoid them...

 

David - I think you're seeing the true body of skydivers. They take genuine interest in each other. When you go to the DZ I bet everyone is helping you become better. Everyone has a tip or encouragement. Same thing here. Everyone is truly interested in helping you be better. 

Remember, it's going to be hard, but you will find productive ways to enjoy it also. 

I thought Purdue already had a skydiving club. 

https://www.boilerlink.purdue.edu/organization/sportparachuteclub

1 hour ago, SethInMI said:

I thought Purdue already had a skydiving club. 

https://www.boilerlink.purdue.edu/organization/sportparachuteclub

Looks like the makings of a win-win situation. 

David - You should discuss this with your parents. Skydiving in the finite is an all-day commitment that could interfere with studying. Having a club there can give you a place to hang out for a while if you are unable to jump. You'll figure it out as you go. Learn to pack. 

Seth - You have a technical degree, true?

5 minutes ago, TampaPete said:

Seth - You have a technical degree, true?

I do. 

For my .02, I will share my experience, I had the opportunity to start jumping in college, but didn't have the money. I waited until I was 30, when I was in a good financial situation. I have been jumping for 18 years now. I don't regret waiting at all. Skydiving is a huge time and money suck, and usually at Uni you don't have the luxury of a lot of either.

5 hours ago, SethInMI said:

I thought Purdue already had a skydiving club. 

https://www.boilerlink.purdue.edu/organization/sportparachuteclub

I asked around before and they said the club was no longer active. 

I'm admitted to college of engineering, but it's a tough major and I honestly don't think I can succeed lol. But I will definitely try. I will probably study my ass off. 

I will probably accept their offer. I can make my body more healthy and fit in these 3 years and I will be in better physical condition to skydive in the future. (exercise my shoulder and whole body) 3 years are not too long and it's better than 4 or 5 years. 

I will sign a legal document with my parents just in case if they come up something new after I wait 3 years. (because the only thing that is not good in this offer is that I still keep the financial tie with my parents) I will return to skydiving immediately after I wait 3 years. I will start doing on campus jobs and saving money beginning my freshman year. (At Purdue University, $3000/year work study is guaranteed.)

I will start a new club and will try to work something out with the local DZ. (learn to pack, etc)

learning to pack sounds like a good idea. 

49 minutes ago, David Wang said:

I asked around before and they said the club was no longer active. 

I'm admitted to college of engineering, but it's a tough major and I honestly don't think I can succeed lol. But I will definitely try. I will probably study my ass off. 

I will probably accept their offer. I can make my body more healthy and fit in these 3 years and I will be in better physical condition to skydive in the future. (exercise my shoulder and whole body) 3 years are not too long and it's better than 4 or 5 years. 

I will sign a legal document with my parents just in case if they come up something new after I wait 3 years. (because the only thing that is not good in this offer is that I still keep the financial tie with my parents) I will return to skydiving immediately after I wait 3 years. I will start doing on campus jobs and saving money beginning my freshman year. (At Purdue University, $3000/year work study is guaranteed.)

I will start a new club and will try to work something out with the local DZ. (learn to pack, etc)

learning to pack sounds like a good idea. 

 

 

David - Don't sell yourself short. I believe you can succeed. I've said a couple of times, it's going to be tough, but not impossible. Stay focused on school and enjoying school. Don't skip enjoying school but do study your buns off. If Purdue has offered you incentives then you are smarter than the average bear. Don't worry about the sky it's not going away. When the time is right it will avail itself to you. 

11 minutes ago, TampaPete said:

David - Don't sell yourself short. I believe you can succeed. I've said a couple of times, it's going to be tough, but not impossible. Stay focused on school and enjoying school. Don't skip enjoying school but do study your buns off. If Purdue has offered you incentives then you are smarter than the average bear. Don't worry about the sky it's not going away. When the time is right it will avail itself to you. 

thank you!

1 hour ago, David Wang said:

I asked around before and they said the club was no longer active. 

I'm admitted to college of engineering, but it's a tough major and I honestly don't think I can succeed lol. But I will definitely try. I will probably study my ass off. 

I will probably accept their offer. I can make my body more healthy and fit in these 3 years and I will be in better physical condition to skydive in the future. (exercise my shoulder and whole body) 3 years are not too long and it's better than 4 or 5 years. 

I will sign a legal document with my parents just in case if they come up something new after I wait 3 years. (because the only thing that is not good in this offer is that I still keep the financial tie with my parents) I will return to skydiving immediately after I wait 3 years. I will start doing on campus jobs and saving money beginning my freshman year. (At Purdue University, $3000/year work study is guaranteed.)

I will start a new club and will try to work something out with the local DZ. (learn to pack, etc)

learning to pack sounds like a good idea. 

 

 

Hi David,

Re:  it's a tough major and I honestly don't think I can succeed

I am a Mech Engr.  I started college when I was 24 yrs old & a veteran.  It is a tough major. I also did not know whether I would make it.  I only really knew that I could finish when I started my very last semester.

I saw too many younger people, who were much smarter than, I fail.  Primarily, because they wanted to party, chase girls, anything but keep their nose(s) to the grindstone.  

Re:  But I will definitely try.

IMO this is the secret to success.  I went on have a quite successful 30-yr career as an engineer.  I'm nicely retired now; but I am very grateful that I never gave up.

As other have said, the sky will wait for you; it is not going away.

Jerry Baumchen

2 hours ago, wmw999 said:

My brother went to engineering school; he said that it was hard, but that it was hard for just about everyone. You’re not really the only one who doesn’t understand everything. 
Wendy P. 

haha, true!

does signing a legal document with my parents work? Is this a good method?